Why I Want To Fuck Argrath Maniskisson

ARGRATH DRAGONSPEAR AND THE EROTICIZED BREAKDOWN OF THE BICAMERAL MIND

Numerous studies have been performed on residents of the Mindblast recovery wards, Madness critical cases, washouts from the Cult of the Bat, etc, placing trained Argrath impersonators in a position to whisper as if making a suggestion from across the rickety corpus callosum, simulating a variety of scenarios, e.g. intrusive vandalization urges, children’s rhymes, obscene variations on stereotypical divine messages, repetitions of monomythological mythemes, prolonged snickering and chuckling (fantasies of brutalizing the Prince of Sartar emerged almost instantaneously from this initial stimulus, subjects spontaneously conceptualizing lockers, flush toilets, wallets, lunch money, etc. and fixating on them). Powerful erotic fantasies of a green-on-green type interpenetrated all response curves to Argrath. 

Subjects were required to construct a representational vision of Argrath’s social positioning, placing a little plush replica of Argrath in relationship to a series of similarly designed dolls, some labeled and some not. 

In 82% of cases the Argrath replica was placed firmly beneath the feet of a feminine doll, frequently the ones labeled “Samastina of Nochet”, “Enerian Scarlet II”, or “Gunda the Guilty”. There was a notable preference for clearly indicating the feminine doll was wearing heeled shoes, especially boots, and in a plurality of cases two or more such dolls were placed above Argrath in a rough simulation of a simultaneous makeout or manual-digital sexual stimulation as their feet crushed the Prince replica. These indicate that a homoerotic-social dominance inversive complex drives the fetishized appeal of the Prince, such that spontaneous mythographic erotica takes on standard forms when an appropriate subject is primed to understand Argrath as a divine presence. 

Direct observation of the Prince by Mernitan colleagues has indicated characteristic patterns of the buccal musculature and broad facial shaping which correlate strongly with punchability, smarminess, and “Traumwerken face”. The continuing strain placed upon the cheekbones by the shiteating grin’s breadth tallies with, eg, the Annstad studies and the Belintar anecdotes. Reconstructed Argrath speeches via the Puppeteer Troupe demonstrated a marked erotic effect on a mixed audience of Storm Bulls and drunken gazzam. However, when diametrically opposed thoughtpatterns and memetics were employed using an identical impersonation technique, the difference in effect was minimal when tested on akindled fully cognizant humans. Argrath is thus extremely bullyable, as the Gorgorma adherents may put it. 

THE OBLITERATION OF PRINCE DRAGONTWINK'S POSTERIOR PALISADES: ACHIEVING ORGASM IN ARGRATHIAC PROXIMITY

Subjects on the streets of more than a dozen cities were given lunagraphic reproductions of the prince of the Sartari and asked first to imagine themselves in various sexual situations with the Prince, and then if they agreed, an s-lune of the apricot type performed said sexual situations while wearing a paper bag with the lunagraph on the front over their head. 

Of those who went on to test the actuality from the fantasy/potentiality, less than 2% reported orgasm when attempting vaginal intercourse, with a plurality of recipients saying “this bussy feels counterfeit”. Orality achieved nearly 15% orgasms, only while the s-lune was the performer and thus had to remove the paper bag. Anal intercourse saw a 4% rate, and an overall rating of “somehow mid”. Following a prolonged comforting of the hardworking s-lune, further scenarios were only pursued with the aid of nathic and gerric spirits and an Erissa specialist on standby. 

Aural/orbital conceptions were exceedingly rare when unprompted, but with a simple priming exercise, statistically acceptable rates were achieved. This achieved satisfaction in 35% of participants. Coupling strangulative asphyxiation with these scenarios caused spontaneous orgasms in the infernal-spiritual attendants and more than 50% of participants achieving ecstasy. Further contemplations of coronary, pulmonary, hepatic, etc. potentialities were not pursued as Great Sister came out and told us to stop scaring the novitiates. 

Formal conclusions from this study: erotomania towards the prince of Sartar is correlated with an openness towards the outer reaches of sensuality and an affinity with the submerged reaches of spirituality, but only when the Argrathophile seeks sexual satisfaction. This appears to be a vanishing minority of the population which expresses sentiments aligned with Argrathophiliasis. 

DRAGONTOOTH RUNNING: ARGRATH AND PREVERSION TO PROTO-ORLANTHIC IMPERATIVES

The Prince of Sartar is of course a well-known prevert. This has been established through over one thousand spontaneous encounters, remote viewings, and transtemporal evocations. The Prince has demonstrated clear deanimation, an anti-ZZ effect, and contra-Ulerian attitudes. (Interrogating the Goddess of Lewdness as she left a salon appointment in the Ruby City got a dismissive “I don't fuck brats” as concerns the Prince.)

The precise degree of preversion requires calibration and consideration. Is Argrath Umathic, Aetheric, or Zzaburinic? (This author requested an opportunity to consult the Bat- the Bat said it had a headache. The Multilexia damned the author's eyes, then undamned them, then said Argrath could never be predark if he tried.)

Zzaburistics were examined first. Through a series of short-layover moonboat flights, a journey to Riverjoin in advance of the Kingdom of War was achieved, followed by an interaction with the Lord High Swallow himself, Sir Meriatan. Meriatan pretended not to know what a knight, bishop, or manofall was, and ended the brief interview by explaining that Irensavel couldn't be real because our eyes weren't real. (As the author departed, I found a piece of paper in my denim jacket. It only read “are feet shoes?” I can make nothing of this.)

At Sogolotha, the learned scholars of the City of Brass said that Zzabur was like no other, thank fuck, and we shall not see He, Zzabur's like again, and that frankly they were of the considered opinion that the Syndics Ban was worth it to see Prince Snodal punch the smug look off of Zzabur's face to reveal the smaller smug look beneath. 

Seeing as Argrath is of the minimanipular rather than minifacial persuasion, it is tentatively concluded that he is not Zzaburinic in psychosocioerotic orientation. 

Umathic predispositions have been mooted and then mooted in the other fashion, as the Umathic lapsarian response understands the destruction of the old without the creation of the new. The Argrathiatic Action understands the creation of the new, but only by smearing it with the corpse-dust of the old. Thus, Aethericism remains as the only option to expain Argrath's preversive character flaws. The irony, of course, is that if Argrath were baked all the time, he would perform fewer Argrathian deeds.

Recommended courses of action remain tentative and sublabial in nature. The Prince having the Aethericalized brain nodality, thus collapsing all distinctions into the one-many dichotomy, successful occipital penetration becomes dubious. The dentalized proposal to make use of phytoesrolian compounds and unobtrusively supply the Prince with the means of converting the one-many dichotomy to a dykeotomy is more plausible. A suitable neutral ground for a Rhigean conference would be needed. 

ABSOLUTIVE ABLATION OF ARGRATHIAN ANOMALIES - AN AMENDED APPENDICAL ADDITION

There is an opportunity available to turn preversion against preversion. Retrieve the drifting psychospiritual matrix of the previous Prince (the author is already in possession of a wolf-ear headband and a wolf-tail appliance, as far as the means to so so) and install her on an appropriate substrate, giving her time to resume her habits and let the BDE divide itself by c-squared to become BDM. Psychotrance her to imprint parahypnotic suggestions correlating Argrath with other wolf-killers. Alert her in conscious mind to the poor fuzzy Telmori in danger. Watch the sparks fly. Aid her in bending the usurper over (still wearing the headband). 

With luck and the application of sufficient pallilunar potentive radiation, the two lineages can be reconciled through reproduction. 

The Man with the Tiny Hands himself.

Sure, why the hell not. -Great Sister

Approved by the Ethics Review Board of the General Committee of the EGI. Sent to the Multilexia, awaiting assignation of personnel.